i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
