I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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