it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
