K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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