im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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