Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
