Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
