quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
