Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
