Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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