So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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