dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
