I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
