Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
