How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
