so explain again why im purple
no
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
