friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
