So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
