guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
