he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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