There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
