I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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