16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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