whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
