We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
