Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
