just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
