Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
