Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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