after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
