Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
