At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
There's even glitter on my cock...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
