His pubic hair was longer than his dick
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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