I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Randomize
