Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
