I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
