I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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