You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
