Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
