I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
