i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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