I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My life is pants optional.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
