I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
