swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
