I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
