Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Damn victory sex feels great
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
