About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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