I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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