whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
