these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
