Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
